I have never regretted being being the best dancer in my town but I never thought that my fast feet would take me on such a harrowing journey. Never the less I thank god for the shoes that he gave me to dance all over in my dirty little face. Dancing always reminds me of […]

The Wormhunter(the man, the legend) ,was obsessed with the giant Brown Biter worm which he saw as a child in his garden .He swore that the brown biter was a distant relative of the grass snake with the teeth of a shit house rat and the head of an infant Squirrel Monkey. He found Shoelaces, […]

He was a reckless young swine who never gave a piss about nobody but himself. The reason why he never gave a piss about nobody was because he was always too busy thinking of ways that he he could draw on things with his pencils - the wonderful special pencils. He had a fist full […]

Shoot shot gun,
gun shoot shot ,
pot shot hot shot,
shit shot fuck shot.

Roland Zuzzagard peered quizzically through the upper level of his bifocals at the murky brown fluid thrashing about his conical flask.
Could this be it? He pondered. Could this be the answer to the seemingly endless years of pain he had endured?

He nervously placed the flask on a pedestal constructed from bone and flashed his spindly […]

Make your very own pair of pointy shoes, with our simple DIY exercise. All you need is a desire some brown tape and rolled up newspaper. Go out to the pub and ladies will be so impressed they will go MAD and piss in thier handbags!
PLEASE NOTE: These ladies in this post have a dirty […]

I come here i look at the spiders. I love the fookin dinosaurs.

Flies on the wall documentalary exploring why poor Simon won’t get down off his god damn ladder.

I like monkeys, but not ones that can stand up straight. I don’t like monkeys anymore - because of this little headstanding bastard. Just look at this dirty little monkey.
Then tell me what human can’t stand on his head whilst balancing a spinning top on a brown stick. Mind you. I think deep down I […]